AllSpinsTT

Why Table Tennis is most likely the wrong sport for you

Get out while you still can and save your sanity

(Some reasons are just real. Others are funny and real.)

Click here to go to AllSpinsTT.com home page , if you still insist, after learning the truth below

• The silly joke “game” of basement ping pong can be mastered in minutes. But it takes years to get a clue as to what the “sport” of table tennis is.
• Table tennis is one of the most complex individual sports there is.
• The design of table tennis rackets is EXTREMELY complicated and even more controversial.
• You are dealing with racket dimensions in millimeters. A tiny change can indeed be a life altering experience.
• Everyone will keep telling you that top spin ONLY table tennis is the ONE & ONLY way to play table tennis because it is in the Olympics… until you meet your first all spins opponent using pips.
• There are many playing domains.1. Sandpaper table tennis 2.Hardbat table tennis 3. Top spin only Olympic table tennis. These 3 are united in one common cause : absolute disgust & hatred for the 4th domain: all spins diversity table tennis
• ITTF claims table tennis is a liftime sport. But constantly makes rules to promote youth & adults and severely limit older players ( Masters / Veterans )
• Never a week passes by without your being brainwashed to believe that ITTF's version of top spin only Olympic table tenni is the ONE & ONLY way "NORMAL"and proper wayto play table tennis using dumb rackets & you should NEVER play all spins diversity table tennis using smart rackets
• Table tennis is strictly a participant sport and far from a spectator sport (The soul & essence of table tnnis , spin, is not a visible element). So all your family & friends have a good laugh if you claim table tennis is an athletic "sport"
• Serve and return are like 67% of the sport.Most amateurs have no clue.Your sanity would be far better off playing badminton or pickleball
• 90% of humans have weaker backhands and table tennis has no compensation mechanisms like two handed backhand in tennis. But not even 10% of table tennis players know this or admit to this but would rather pretend like 10% (at best) of pro table tennis players who may have a truly stronger backhand
• There is 90% chance that you will most likley waste your entire lifetime desperately attempting play top spin only Olympic tabletnnis though there is a 95% chance that you may have performed far better in all spins diversity table tennis
• Your doctor looks at you funny if you say you played TT for exercise & will ask you to switch to walking.
• The spins in table tennis are far more diverse and also at high speeds.
• Not a lot of doubles like in pickleball, badminton etc. So, losses are more humiliating.
• You MUST play alternate ball in doubles. So, your partner cannot carry you.
• People will laugh at you (especially in North America) if you admit you play table tennis.
• Table tennis is the most frustrating sport there is. A bigger irony is that any fun possible can also come only from that frustration.
• Everyone will keep claiming that they are playing only just for fun… every time they lose.
• You are NEVER responsible for your loss. It is just everyone else’s collective conspiracy.
• You will spend more time worrying about your opponents’ rackets than actually playing.
• Every time you think you've improved, someone 40 years older than you will destroy you effortlessly.
• The scoring system is simple; understanding why you lost a point isn't.
• There are hundreds of legal serves and spins and you'll misread most of them.
• And there are hundreds of illegal serve variations but ONLY by your opponents.
• The ball is so light that air conditioning becomes a tactical factor.
• A beginner can lose a rally before the ball even crosses the net and not realize why.
• The sport rewards precision measured in millimeters.
• You can practice for years and still lose to a pips player who appears to be violating the laws of physics.
• Most players hate pips and anti rubbers but the undemocratic ITTF refuses to ban them using false (seemingly altruistic & noble) claims of diversity of play styles as the reason (though loss of total control over the sport, loss of revenue from Olympics, loss of pips / anti rubber licensing fees etc. are the REAL resaons
• No matter what racket (blade, rubbers) you buy, somebody will convince you it's the wrong one.
• ITTF refuses to adopt figure-skating or gymnastics type rating system based on your playing style & grace & negative points for pips.
• Table tennis is like playing speed chess while down-hill skiing at the same time.
• If you buy an expensive racket and lose, it's your fault. If you buy a cheap racket and lose, it's also your fault.
• The learning curve is less a curve and more a cliff.
• Endless Learning Curve: You never “finish” learning. You just become slightly less terrible.
• Ten coaches will have 10 different opinions on same issue but 9 are wrong but you will NEVER know the right one.
• Watching professionals is deeply discouraging because they appear to be playing a different sport.
• The rubber you want is always out of stock or has been secretly de-approved by the ITTF.
• The blade you want has been discontinued or is NEVER available in provincial or pro version.
• Never ending controversies – illegal spein glues & booster debates, ITTF regulations… it’s a soap opera.
• Every opponent is a scientist, philosopher, historian, politician & a psychopath all at the same time.
• You give an additional compelling reason for your spouse to divorce you by making the mistake of playing doubles with him / her.
• Every casual practice partner will give you totally unsolicited expert advice & will be twice as upset if you actually use it to beat them.
• It takes approximately 50 years to realize you cannot loop on your backhand & would have been much better off with some other style such as chopper.
• When you win it is ONE & ONLY due to your superior skill & technique. When your opponent wins it is ALWAYS their nasty pips.
• There are more playing style combinations than actual number of players but you only see one… that of your favorite pro.
• You always realize your opponent has been using pips all along ONLY when you are down 2 games and they are up 9–1 in the final game.
• The more rackets you buy the more your consistency & technique start disappearing.
• Everyone is conspiring against you by hiding from you what exact blade and rubbers your favorite pro is “actually” using.
• You cannot comprehend why you play much worse after switching to the blade & rubber your favorite pro "supposedly" uses
• Most sports have few ball trajectories. Table tennis has approximately seventeen thousand.
• The spin is invisible, but the consequences of misreading spin are highly visible.
• You can lose a match while feeling that you were the better player for 90% of the points.
• When a manufacturer says a rubber gives maximum spin, speed & control they are talking about your opponent, not for you.
• You actually believe when a manufacturer claims that a pips rubber can give maximum disruption but also give you perfect control & offense.
• Every player wants a spinny inverted rubber on the forehand that can give perfect defense in addition to perfect offense.
• Every player wants a long pips rubber on the backhand that can give perfect offense in addition to perfect defense.
• The difference between a great shot and a complete disaster is often a few degrees of racket angle.
• Explaining table tennis to non-players inevitably leads to "Oh, you mean ping pong?"
• Playing your first tournament & getting an actual rating can be a life altering event if you have not killed yourself already.
• Your mind somehow seems to compute your potential rating point gains or losses quicker than the fastest super computer.
• You are never playing to win but are always playing not to lose… especially to a pips hacker.
• Beating your mother-in-law or your co-worker will give you delusions of grandeur that you can compete against professional athletes.
• Nobody outside the sport (especially your spouse) understands why you own 19 seemingly identical (but in fact completely different) rackets.
• Everyday someone claiming they are very good in tennis comes to the club and wants to teach you about spins.
• There is no end to improvement. Every higher level merely exposes more of your weaknesses & reveals stronger players you didn't know existed.
• You may become emotionally invested in the coefficient of friction of a sheet of rubber or the hardness of the sponge or the aspect ratio of the pips.
• A hobby that starts with a paddle and a ball can quickly turn into a part-time engineering project.
• Losing 11–0 happens fast enough that you barely have time to process it.
• Table tennis is unique among sports in that the better you get, the more impossible it seems.
• Everyday you start to regret more & more about choosing table tennis over badminton and pickleball.
• Your racket (& playing style) is always holier than your opponents'… especially pips.
• You think you hit an amazing loop so fast and so spinny at your opponent, only to find out it has been looped back twice as fast & spinny.
• You will become "that guy": One who brings your table tennis bag (with 13 rackets,27 blades, 76 rubbers and 16 illegal booster bottles) to all social gatherings and tries to explain in futility why table tennis is a real "sport"

Click here to go to AllSpinsTT.com home page , if you still insist, after learning the truth above